Linux Adictos It has two kinds of readers: those who don't understand my jokes and those who think they are very bad. Luckily, there are people who make good jokes about Linux, free software and competition. To make the weekend wait less long, we are going to review some of them.
Some linux humor
If Linux Distributions Were Students
On twitter We find this comparison between Linux distributions and student stereotypes. What distribution did you resemble?
- Archlinux: The typical attention seeking child. He likes to impose his dominance on others and literally dies if 5 minutes go by without being talked about
- Debian: A bit boring and old-fashioned, yet friendly and trustworthy. Everyone likes it.
- Manjaro: He's in love with Archlinux. He thinks no one knows, but everyone knows.
- Ubuntu: He is a nice and polite boy. However, everyone hates it because it smells bad.
- Kali: She loves to show off her cool gadgets to her friends. However, none of them can understand what they are for or how they work.
- Gentoo: He never gets angry because he's so patient. He does not care why the teacher extends the class for 5 hours including lunch.
- Fedora: That random guy you never talked to and you don't know about. He probably fucked your mother last night.
- Alpine: He comes to school with three knives, a stun gun, and a samurai sword. He assures that it is for security reasons.
Those that follow have no identified author
Clouds
Looking at the sky, the child asks:
-Dad What are clouds made of?
-From Linux servers, mainly.
Good education
The Linux systems administrator and his family are having breakfast. One of the children asks:
-Pass me the butter.
-Order it accordingly
-Sudo pass me the butter.
Information
A Debian user, a vegan and an atheist walk into a bar….
I know because they told everyone there
Household arrangements
A Windows user, a Linux user, and an Apple user have to change a light bulb at their respective homes. They separate and the Windows user and the Apple user meet 5 minutes later
Windows user: Have you changed it?
Apple user: No, it cannot be changed, so I have to find a new house; and you?
Windows user: Yes, I changed it, but now the toilet does not flush.
After a while, the two worry that the Linux user hasn't returned yet. They go to his apartment and find him sitting in the middle of the floor with a set of instructions and a box of parts. The Windows user asks him what he is doing, to which he replies' what does it look like? This light bulb is not going to make itself »
Another one of bars
Three people enter a bar
The first says "I am Windows. The most popular, everyone likes me and I don't hang out with little girls. I want a pint of beer.
The second says' I'm Mac OS. I'm a favorite with artists and hipsters, and I could never settle for a boring beer like Windows. Give me your most hoppy craft beer.
The third says “I am Linux. I want water, hops, barley and yeast, please.
The one that follows comes from this thread from Reddit
Friendly
Linux is very user-friendly. What happens is that it is very selective when choosing its friends.
Following instructions
The manufacturer of my new computer recommends "Windows 10 or higher." I listened to him and installed Linux.
Hygiene
During a congress of the software industry, Satya Nadella (Microsoft) Tim Cook (Apple) and Linus Torvalds meet in the bathroom.
Nadella washes her hands thoroughly, with plenty of soap and water, and uses a bunch of paper towels to dry herself, saying:
- Those of Microsoft, what we do we do well.
Tim Cook also washes thoroughly, but uses very little water and very little soap, and he uses a corner of a paper towel to dry himself. When it finishes it says:
- Those of Apple, in addition to doing it well, we optimize it to the maximum.
Linus, without washing himself, looks at the other two and says:
- We Linux do not urinate on our hands ...
they are good :)
Very very good!