Today is Halloween, a good time to list some terrifying linux creatures that are part of the nightmares that haunt lovers of free and open source software. Because, asking for candy may be a Yankee custom, but in all times and cultures there were dates to recognize and face what scares us.
In our case it is not about deformed monsters or people with dark powers. But, evil takes other forms such as those who make pacts with Evil by selling their data or those who condemn users for all eternity to the use of expensive and inferior technologies.
If you are an impressionable person, read no further.
Brief catalog of terrifying Linux creatures
the bobizo
Unlike the werewolf, it does not attack only on Fridays with a full moon. We have to suffer it every day. Nor does it affect only the seventh male children since it does not distinguish between sex or location in the family tree.
The goofball tried Linux for ten minutes in 95 and since the printer didn't work at first, he decided it was useless. That searching Google could have solved the problem and that Linux had a quarter of a century to evolve does not cross his mind. Invited or not, he takes advantage of any forum, blog or WhatsApp group to explain why Windows is so much better and the reasons why he will never be able to install Linux on his aunt.
Needless to say, I do not in any way include in this category those who, having tried both operating systems, decided that Windows is better and express their opinion respectfully.
the zombie
It has common characteristics with the bobizo but it differs from it in that its engine is laziness instead of foolishness. The zombie learned to do things one way and there's no way he's going to change it.
There are two categories of zombies, the professionals and the home users. Professionals can be found in computer repair services, tech support, and web designers.
In the first case, if you bring them a computer with Linux, the first thing they will do is install Windows to do the checks. Checks performed by pirated software released in 2007.
I had a run-in with a zombie at my internet provider's tech support. Since I didn't want to tell him that I used Linux, I replied that my operating system was Windows 10 (it had been published for a year). His response was to install Windows 8 and call him back. (In Windows 10 the procedure was the same as in Windows 8.
The web designer zombie had a mutation. In the beginning, because I didn't want to go to the trouble of learning web standards, I just made sites compatible with Internet Explorer, and if you tried to log in with another browser you would get a warning to switch to Explorer.
A famous case was that of a server manufacturer who wanted to sell one to the developer of the Opera browser. When those responsible for the purchase wanted to access the web interface, they could not. Reviewing the code they found an instruction that specifically blocked that browser.
The change in consumer habits forced them to adapt and today they only make sites compatible with Google Chrome.
We have zombies among home Linux users as well. They hate the distribution or the software they use, but they are too lazy to find something else that suits their needs.
El vampiro
Our vampires do not consume blood, but they drain resources either emotional or digital. In this case there are two kinds of vampires, humans and applications.
The best example of a human vampire is the one that in Another item we define as the spoiled child. As soon as you give him a little attention he will demand it completely. If he has a problem, you have to respond immediately and if possible go to his house and do everything for him.
With regard to digital vampires, fortunately in Linux we don't have something like Norton Utilities whose takeover of entire hard drives makes even the most seasoned of exorcists pale. However, the RAM usage of the Google Chrome browser or Electron-based apps makes them fall squarely in the category.
In my opinion, the WordPress Content manager must also be included. Developers' craze for requiring the use of non-standard plugins to install themes is taking up more and more server resources.
La viuda negra
The black widow first seduces you with promises of taking you to paradise, but when you realize you ended up in hell. Some black widows are:
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- Social networks that promise to connect you with friends and end up selling or allowing your personal data to be leaked,
- Trading portals that claim to connect you with millions of customers, but end up charging you for everything and giving priority to those who hire advertising or pay higher commissions.
- Operating systems that guarantee compatibility, but end support without warning and if you want to update, they force you to buy new hardware.
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